“If you were really confident you wouldn’t wear makeup,” he said to me.
I searched his expression for the joke.
No joke. He was straight- faced.
Perplexed, I actually paused and contemplated the question. I felt the need to gather my response together, I was making a list and checking it twice, like Santa. I wanted to articulate myself clearly.
This was before I had healthy boundaries. It was during a time when I was really digging to figure things out—that dark night of the soul, searching deep down in the well kind of space.
Oftentimes in the midst of such periods we are offered situations that allow us the opportunity to practice walking our path.
That’s for another post.
“If you were really confident you wouldn’t wear makeup.”
I didn’t have an immediate response but I allowed the question to ruminate around for much longer than I would now. I actually entertained these words, questioned my confidence and gave my time and energy to delivering the “right” reply.
Finally I came to this—I wouldn’t wear my pajamas outside and it’s not because I’m insecure. I leave my pajamas at home because I make choices that feel good for me. Every day I make choices about who I am and how I show up to the world. Going out in my pajamas simply doesn’t feel like the best choice for me.
Sure, I could delve into a makeup dialogue about cultural influence, conditioning, etc.
But that’s not my point here.
I actually questioned myself for a moment and felt that I owed some explanation. AND that is my point.
Some days I wear makeup, some days I don’t.
This has nothing to do with my confidence and everything to do with being true to myself.
If you have a desire to work on any aspect of being true to yourself, I’d love to partner with you. xo -a